Monday, July 16, 2007

A Joke to Pass Along

I heard this from a friend at church who shared it at our recent Adult VBS and wanted to pass it along. It's really funny.

A Montana rancher was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a cloud of dust towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the rancher, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The rancher looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connect it to his Cingular Razr V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized HP Laserjet printer and finally turns to the rancher and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

That’s right. Well I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the rancher.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the rancher says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?” The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

You’re a congressman for the U.S. Government,” says the rancher.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required,” answered the rancher. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows…. This is a herd of sheep…. Now give me back my dog.”

1 comment:

GuyMuse said...

Loved it! :)