I was working on an introduction for a sermon that I'll be preaching this coming Sunday evening from Matt. 9:35-38 about Jesus seeing the multitudes, viewing them with compassion, and urging His followers to pray for the Lord to send forth workers into His harvest. I've not finalized the title of the message, but had tentatively called it "Help Wanted: Workers for the Harvest." I was looking for some unusual help wanted ads to use in the introduction and stumbled across some very funny ads on a website that purportedly have appeared in print in different media. Here are some of the most humorous of the bunch. I hope you enjoy them.
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
Man, honest. Will take anything.
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
Illiterate? Write today for free help.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.